That sniff was part allergies and mostly missing my boy.
It isn't really any different than leaving him at home, just try telling my head and heart that. Ya see, now he is at someone else's house. A stranger's house. Alice is a very lovely woman. Her references checked out perfectly. Her other kids are a pleasure. The house is spotless. She has a 17 year old daughter that absolutely loves babies and is a huge help to her. I have a feeling Ricky is going to get his fair share of snuggling from Alicia. So there is no actual reason for me to be freaking out.
I'm not really "freaking out" freaking out, I'm just scared. Scared for my little man in a new environment. Everything was peachy keen then Rick and I left. There was Alice, holding my little man. Who was just looking at Mommy and Daddy walk away. And then he got this look on his face like "Hey...what's going on here?"
That's when I started feeling it. Guilty. Knowing that sometime during the day he is going to get bummed and I won't be there to comfort him. I really want to be that person, but I know that I just can't always be there.
I'm really making this out to be more than what it needs to be. Rick and I both have very good feelings about Alice. She is so calm and I really need that. She definitely has more experience at this than I do. She has 2 grown children and has been doing in home daycare for nearly 17 years.
None of that helps though, at least not today. She isn't Mommy.
Now I have to go pretend like I can focus on work for the next 8 hours or so.
Update:
Yeah - of course my fears were completely unwarranted. Ricky had a great day. He was sitting in his swing taking a light snooze when we picked him up. Not only that, but he has been greatod all evening. Once we got home, he was in a great mood. I think he had a pretty good time today. Only thing is the other girls that Alice takes care of, they keep referring to him as "She". We arrived and they said "They baby is sleeping, let me show her to you."
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