Friday, October 23, 2009

Blankies and stuff...

I was just looking at this pic. 

My, how time flies.  This picture was taken when Ricky was 8 days old and in the hospital.  His body temp had dropped drastically low and they were concerned there was an infection so he was admitted.  You can't see the spot on his back where they did the spinal tap.  You can't see the IV in his right hand.  You can't see all the slits on his little feet where they were trying to get a good potassium level but weren't able to because he was so dehydrated.  You can't see the band aid covering the spot where they eventually had to draw that blood from his arterial vein because the other THREE attempts to get a regular vein failed.  How someone so small can weather so much, I will never know.  

You also can't see me freaking out in the background.  Feeling horribly guilty because after nursing my son, exclusively for nearly 7 days I didn't realize that my milk hadn't come in.  He was lethargic. I was starving my son.  I started supplementing but it was too late.  To say I felt horrible doesn't even begin to describe my feelings.  The most instinctual thing I was supposed to be able to do for my son, one of my first jobs as a parent, and I failed.  I failed to the degree of epic proportions.

The next day my milk came in.  Oh, did it ever come in!  But it went almost as fast as it arrived.  I was angry at myself, angry at my body and just looking at a breast pump filled me with hurt and resentment. I would pump and pump and get barely a drop.  I had succumbed.  Hopefully when the time comes for the next one, that won't be the case. 

Back to the picture.

What you can see in that picture is the blankie.  That super soft blankie.  Well, you can see the puppy lovey too but this post isn't called "Puppies and stuff."  For the record, I absolutely adore the puppy!  

I have no idea who gave us this blankie.  I'm sure it was a shower gift.  I loved it.  And he loves it.  He did then and he does now.  To this day, when he wakes up in the morning and I get him out of his crib, he grabs this blankie.  When it's bed time he knows to pick up this blankie and his binky.  He hugs it when he is sick or scared or sad. The love he has for this blankie knows no bounds.

And then we started daycare.  "Bring a sheet and blankie for naptime" they said.  Uh oh, a blankie?  The blankie?  What if something happens to the blankie at daycare?  I can't afford to lose the blankie.  No way.  His world would crumble.

Over the past few months I have found a few substitutes for this blankie.  They are made by Carter's so the outlet store had a couple.  I also managed to pick up a few at Burlington Coat Factory.  I think we are up to 5 or 6 "blankies" now.  They aren't exactly the same but they suffice.  It's a good thing I was able to find them because since cold & flu season has started, daycare is sending home blankets and sheets for DAILY washings.  I don't do laundry daily.

If your little one has a lovey, make sure you get backups if you can.  Seriously.  You will be happy you did.

Do you ever wish you could go back to that simple life?  When something as small as a blankie could make everything all better?


Beth said...

Wonderful post! I really enjoyed reading it. Such a precious photo, too.

I also had problems with "milk production"... couldn't look at a pump without bursting into tears... gave up completely after 2 weeks (yay, formula) and never looked back. I still remember the guilt and frustration at the time, though.

Adorable blankie! Adam is still very attached to his doggies. He now has 7, in all sizes (ranging from "Big Doggy" to "Baby Doggy"). Fortunately, he likes them all (particularly "original doggy" and "baby doggy (the brown one)" which helps keep our sanity... we can usually find a doggy somewhere! =)

Jessica said...

I gave you the pup in the picture, but still haven't a clue who gave you the softies...They really are the nicest blankies, I totally agree!! :)

Nita said...

Jess - I totally remember that you gave me the pup. And a friend from back home contacted me so now I know who gave me the blankie too!